function blurb() { var ar = new Array(""A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere" - Groucho Marx", "All your base are belong to us", "And now for something completely different", "Chipped dishes never break", "Computer games dont affect kids; if Pacman had affected us we would all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetative music", "Don't get a nosebleed", "Don't matter what you like; aliens hate it", "Don't use public toilets.", "Eat the Unit", "Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.", "Everybody wants a 303", "For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.", "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.", "Give up and go home", "Hand me my nosering", "I chose not to choose life; I chose something else", "I feed on the flesh of the living - and I vote.", "I know you're horny and down with OPP but wait a minute, before you jump on in it, the boots your knockin, the girl you're rockin, the feble mind of your un-born child, flow your roll, hold your pole and think a while", "I miss my friend, I wish him well, I know he would have said 'aah what the hell'", "I saw my penis lying on a blanket, next to a broken toaster oven", "If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail", "If you hold your farts, they travel up your spine and come out as shitty ideas", "In America kids take guns to school. In Australia they take their lunch", "In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, "Let there be Light". And there was still nothing, but you could see it.", "It is five a.m. and you are listening to Los Angeles", "It takes more than intellect to be a musician, put your soul into it, OK", "It's 10pm.. do you know where your penguins are?", "It's so easy to get acid you can get it anywhere", "I’ve nothing else to say, but this spot cries out for a concluding message...", ""I've read the Bible; i can't find chocolate or bunnies anywhere in that book" - Bill Hicks", "May the bird of paradise fly up your nose", "mentos: coz women can't", "My bathroom is my best friend because I know it and trust it", "No expectations, no disappointment", "P's get degrees", "People find me most attractive in low light", "People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.", "Pills that put you in a loving trance that make it possible for all white boys to dance", "Who is General Failure and what is he doing reading my A: Drive?", "Remember you can wear your underwear four times without washing them:
forwards,
backwards,
inside-out forwards,
inside-out backwards.", "Rolly polly fishheads are never seen drinking cappucino in Italian restaurants with oriental women", "See! It's fun to laugh at people's misfortune!", "Sex and drugs and on the dole", "She was one in a million, so there's five more just in New South Wales", "Shoutin'
LAGER LAGER LAGER LAGER", "Shut your word hole", "Stacks is jumpin' bass in pumpin'", "Stoned in a bookshop, sober in a nightclub", "STOP ... Hammer time", "Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.", ""That 'Love thy neighbour' bit.. I meant that."   -God", "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to convince the world he doesn't exist", "The riddle of the ages: to scrunch or fold?", "Then he licked his bowl and he looked at me and did the wild thing on my leg", "The only important thing these days is rhythm and melody; rhythm... and melody...", "To the extreme i rock a mic like a vandal, light up a stage n wax a chump like a candle", "Tokyo, Denmark, Sweden", "Touch me, shiny magazine", "Twenty past four and we're feelin kinda bored coz there's nothing to record and we're poor", "Understand that friends will come and go. This is because of your irritating personality. Nobody likes you.", "Watching pornography alone is neutral, like eating a sandwich; it's neither straight nor gay", ""What part of 'Thou shalt not..' didn't you understand?"   -God", "When I am king you will be first against the wall", ""When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools" - Shakespeare's King Lear", "Ye're no gonnae die. ye're gonnae get up n bounce like the rest ae us"); var num = Math.floor(Math.random() * ar.length); document.write(ar[num]); }